Cheating Invades Tennis
What the ^&*! is going on with professional tennis? First, Nikolay Davydenko, one of the top players in the game, is suspected of “taking a dive” and throwing a match.
Then allegations come out that it’s not just Davydenko; but other players are throwing matches as part of some huge underground gambling ring.
Now, reports surface that German player Tommy Hass, #13 in the world, was POISOINED before his Davis Cup match with Russia. Holy crap! This is ridiculous.
Hello?? This is tennis. They wear white at Wimbledon; there’s no contact between opponents except for the post-match handshake; they eat bananas at change-overs; and the crowd isn’t even allowed to talk during points. This is supposed to be the ultimate gentleman’s game.
I love tennis. Been playing it since I was six. In fact, people give me a hard time because I always espouse its greatness. But I’m afraid I’ve run out of ways to defend the sport. When tennis players are on the take, all hope is lost is the universe.
The beautiful thing about tennis is that – in a singles match – it’s just you and your opponent. No teammates, no coaches, nobody. It’s the ultimate test of mental toughness; in my mind, unparalleled in any other sport.
But now to think players are faking injuries and losing matches on purpose! Eee-gads, what would the great John McEnroe say? (I’m sure he has a lot to say; he has a lot to say about everything) I think McEnroe would beat Davydenko upside the head with his old wooden racket if the allegations were true. That’s why there’s only one solution to this crisis.
Let McEnroe and Jimmy Connors interrogate these suspected “dirty” players. Give them 20 minutes alone in a room with each of them and see what happens. Once those profanities start flying and those rackets start getting smashed, the truth shall set us all free.
But here’s what I don’t get. If you’re looking for a sure thing in the gambling world, nobody on earth is more of a guarantee than Roger Federer. The guy never loses – except in the French Open finals – in which case you just bet on Nadal.
I mean, come on, it’s like taking candy from a baby! Or, I guess, in the world of tennis, it’s like giving poisoned candy to a baby.
