My Fantasy Football Nightmare

POSTED BY Dave, 20 August 2007

Like most of you, I'm playing fantasy football this season. And, like most of you, I can't wait. In fact, I've already bought the magazines, read the "experts" columns and started putting together my draft board. But yesterday all my joy, excitement and anticipation was sucked out of me when the commissioner of my league announced this year's draft order.

As you can tell from this article's headline, I'm picking next to last — that's right, no Tomlinson, Gore, Jackson, LJ or Alexander. Just a bunch of McGahees, Jacobs, Maroneys and Parkers. And with so many NFL teams going to a two back system these days, how can I get jazzed up about any of these guys?

Initially, I was so bummed, I started crafting my "bail out of the league" plan. I could tell my commish I was simply too busy too play. After all, being a Bleacher Blogger is hard work. Or I could say I was foresaking football and turing my attention to "American Idol" and "Dancing With the Stars."

But then I realized if I dropped out, Brent (who's also in the league) would never let me live it down. It's bad enough I'm going to have hear about the Patriots and Red Sox all through October; I can't deal with him hammering me about this too. So, I've decided to stick to my guns, rely on my super-human knowledge of football, and somehow craft a winning team in spite of my crappy draft position.

Now, pay attention, 'cause here's where I unveil my plan (and I hesitate to even mention this, for fear the other league members will read this article and steal my idea). But, here goes: I'm thinking of abandoning the unwritten rule of drafting two running backs with my first two picks. That's right, unless there's an RB I really, really want at 11 (and again at 14), I'm planning on going wide receiver, wide receiver with my first two picks.

For seasoned fantasy players, you know this is practically unheard of. But, in my league, I start three WRs. The last few years I've gotten mediocre play out of that position because I've ignored it until round three and it's killed me. So, if I can walk away from the first two rounds with Chad Johnson and Marvin Harrison, or Torry Holt and Steve Smith, I think I'm doing it.

Doesn't sound half bad, right? Not a terrible way to start a team. In fact, I'm getting more and more psyched as I write this blog. If I can pick up a good third WR in round five, I'll have the best group of receivers in the draft. Of course, that potentially leaves a gigantic black hole at running back and quarterback, but I think I have some solutions.

First of all, at QB, there are some sleepers I can grab in round six or seven. Jon Kittna had a really nice year last year and, even though he's Jon Kitna, I think he should have an even bigger year this year. Culpepper could be big (apparently he looks great and they'll constantly be trailing; so he'll throw a lot). I like Tony Romo, Matt Leinart and Jay Cutler (watch for a big year from him!). There's a slim, slim chance Hasselbeck falls that far. Alex Smith should be pretty solid. And dare I say it ... Is this the year things click for Eli?

So, I think I'll be fine at QB. Then I'll grab me a respectable tight end like Winslow and I'll be good to go. So I'm all set — oh yeah, except for that gaping hole at running back. Okay, here's what I'm thinking ...

Draft solid backups like Michael Turner and pray for injuries! What? Not a good plan?

Okay, fine, how's this? Thomas Jones and Travis Henry are both nicked up right now. Plus, I'm sure a good back will get hurt this upcoming weekend. So, I draft the guys that are hurt just enough to scare the other owners off, suck it up for a week or two, let them heal, and when they are at full health, I'm good to go. And by week three I'm starting Romo, Steve Smith, Torry Holt, Mike Furrey, Thomas Jones, Travis Henry and some tight end like Winslow. Now that is a good team.

Okay, so there you go, my foolproof strategy. So bring on the draft! (And don't tell Brent.)